Golf Hat in the Ring
Mr. Barr, what are your qualifications? Do you even have a party affiliation?
Im about as qualified as any other candidate. There are a lot of them out there now; I was waiting for a bus the other day when a guy in line behind me declared. Filled up CNN for a solid half hour. Anyway, Im a member of the GOP.
You mean the Grand Old Party? Youre a Republican?
No, I mean the Golf, Our Priority party. We believe that a nation based on the basic principles of fair play and meritocracy found in golf will excel on the world stage.
What would you do, if elected?
Well, first weve got to change some basic laws. Item One: Leaf blowers.
Did you say leaf blowers?
I did, and you would have heard me better if it werent for that yahoo with a leaf blower out there. Dang things make too much noise, and all they do is redistribute the gunk elsewhere. Theyre all over golf courses, firing up in your backswing and making life generally loud. Under my administration, theyll be outlawed. Welcome to the world of rakes, people. A strong country can move the tines.
And thats another thing. Once I get done outlawing one-word questions, well make failure to rake bunkers a federal felony. Leave a footprint and youll be making tracks in the dust in the yard at Leavenworth. And tennis will be the only thing on the prison T.V, and you wont be able to turn it off. Leave a ball mark on the green unfixed, and you have to watch bowling.
Isnt that cruel and unusual punishment?
Thats a constitutional question best left to the Supreme Handicapping Committee.
You mean the Supreme Court.
Not after Im elected. That august body will handle tournament and stroke-distribution matters, as well as executing the sentence for sandbagging.
And what will that be?
Having your eyes locked open and reading only whatever Oprah tells you.
Have you considered any possible nominations for members of your cabinet?
Sure have. Paul Azinger will be Secretary of Cup Defense. Lee Trevino will be Minister of Mirth. Larry Nelson will be in charge of the military. Tom Watson will be my pick to head up the Department of Ballstriking. I also want him to have a special advisory role in the Department of Integrity and Never Giving Up.
Id like to make Lorena Ochoa my chief scrappiness advisor. Padraig Harrington will be head of the new Department of Perspective; no one had a better smile on his face greeting his son on the last green of the Open Championship a moment after he felt like he had lead in the pit of his stomach. The Rules staffs at the USGA, PGA Tour and R&A will become the Joint Chiefs of Relief.
There are a lot more people Ill call on, but for now, lets move on. Yes, over there in the pink plaid.
Will there be golf fashion crimes?
No; were taking a lenient stand on that. Too many people want to see Ian Poulter play in this country. Besides, Darren Clarkes investment in shoes has direct links to the pillars of the Italian economy. Gotta be a responsible world citizen
How about taxation?
Well, interest on loans for golf vacation homes would be deductible for sure. There would be a tax credit for greens fees, especially for people who live in big cities and have a hard time getting to play.
Golf needs to be part of our national curriculum, at all ages. We can be just as productive starting work at 10 a.m., after a lesson or some short game practice. Think outside the box, America.
Come clean, Mr. Barr. Isnt this just one of those Pat Paulsen style joke candidacies that used to distract us from the more serious contenders back in the Sixties and Seventies?
Depends how much money I can raise. Whats your handicap, by the way?
Email your thoughts to Adam Barr
Monahan buoyed by Tour's sponsor agreements
SAN DIEGO – Farmers Insurance announced on Tuesday at Torrey Pines a seven-year extension of the company’s sponsorship of the Southern California PGA Tour event. This comes on the heels of Sony extending its sponsorship of the year’s first full-field event in Hawaii through 2022.
Although these might seem to be relatively predictable moves, considering the drastic makeover of the Tour schedule that will begin with the 2018-19 season, it is a telling sign of the confidence corporations have in professional golf.
“It’s a compliment to our players and the value that the sponsors are achieving,” Tour commissioner Jay Monahan said.
Monahan said that before 2014 there were no 10-year title sponsorship agreements in place. Now there are seven events sponsored for 10-years, and another five tournaments that have agreements in place of at least seven years.
“What it means is, it gives organizations like the Century Club [which hosts this week’s Farmers Insurance Open], when you have that level of stability on a long-term basis that allows you to invest in your product, to grow interest and to grow the impact of it,” Monahan said. “You experienced what this was like in 2010 or seen other tournaments that you don’t know what the future is.S o to go out and sell and inspire a community and you can’t state that we have a long-term agreement it’s more difficult.”
Events like this year’s Houston Open, Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, and The National all currently don’t have title sponsors – although officials at Colonial are confident they can piece together a sponsorship package. But even that is encouraging to Monahan considering the uncertainty surrounding next season’s schedule, which will include the PGA Championship moving to May and The Players to March as well as a pre-Labor Day finish to the season.
“When you look back historically to any given year [the number of events needing sponsors] is lower than the typical average,” Monahan said. “As we start looking to a new schedule next year, you get excited about a great schedule with a great group of partners.”
Day WDs from Farmers pro-am because of sore back
SAN DIEGO – Jason Day has withdrawn from the Wednesday pro-am at the Farmers Insurance Open, citing a sore back.
Day, the 2015 champion, played a practice round with Tiger Woods and Bryson DeChambeau on Tuesday at Torrey Pines, and he is still expected to play in the tournament.
Day was replaced in the pro-am by Whee Kim.
Making his first start since the Australian Open in November, Day is scheduled to tee off at 1:30 p.m. ET Thursday alongside Jon Rahm and Brandt Snedeker.
Farmers inks 7-year extension through 2026
SAN DIEGO – Farmers Insurance has signed a seven-year extension to serve as the title sponsor for the PGA Tour event at Torrey Pines, it was announced Tuesday. The deal will run through 2026.
“Farmers Insurance has been incredibly supportive of the tournament and the Century Club’s charitable initiatives since first committing to become the title sponsor in 2010,” PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan said.
“We are extremely grateful for the strong support of Farmers and its active role as title sponsor, and we are excited by the commitment Farmers has made to continue sponsorship of the Farmers Insurance Open for an additional seven years.
In partnership with Farmers, the Century Club – the tournament’s host organization – has contributed more than $20 million to deserving organizations benefiting at-risk youth since 2010.
Woods impresses DeChambeau, Day on Tuesday
SAN DIEGO – Bryson DeChambeau played with Tiger Woods for the first time Tuesday morning, and the biggest surprise was that he wasn’t overcome by nerves.
“That’s what I was concerned about,” DeChambeau said. “Am I just gonna be slapping it around off the tee? But I was able to play pretty well.”
So was Woods.
DeChambeau said that Woods looked “fantastic” as he prepares to make his first PGA Tour start in a year.
“His game looks solid. His body doesn’t hurt. He’s just like, yeah, I’m playing golf again,” DeChambeau said. “And he’s having fun, too, which is a good thing.”
Woods arrived at Torrey Pines before 7 a.m. local time Tuesday, when the temperature hadn’t yet crept above 50 degrees. He warmed up and played the back nine of Torrey Pines’ South Course with DeChambeau and Jason Day.
“He looks impressive; it was good to see,” Day told PGATour.com afterward. “You take (Farmers) last year and the Dubai tournament out, and he hasn’t really played in two years. I think the biggest thing is to not get too far ahead, or think he’s going to come back and win straight away.
“The other time he came back, I don’t think he was ready and he probably came back too soon. This time he definitely looks ready. I think his swing is really nice, he’s hitting the driver a long way and he looks like he’s got some speed, which is great.”
Woods said that his caddie, Joe LaCava, spent four days with him in South Florida last week and that he’s ready to go.
“Before the Hero I was basically given the OK probably about three or four weeks prior to the tournament, and I thought I did pretty good in that prep time,” Woods told ESPN.com, referring to his tie for ninth in the 18-man event.
“Now I’ve had a little more time to get ready for this event. I’ve played a lot more golf, and overall I feel like I’ve made some nice changes. I feel good.”
Woods is first off Torrey Pines’ North Course in Wednesday’s pro-am, scheduled for 6:40 a.m. local time.