Some clients feel they will treat themselves more like a winner only when they start playing their best all the time. In other words, they count on their results to dictate whether they feel like a winner or not. Winning a golf tournament, beating your golf buddy, closing a sale or winning any other event is not the same as learning to treat yourself like a winner which is something you can do whether you win or not.
Winning begins as an attitude. Like everything else, it begins within.
All my clients take the Wired To Win Performance assessment which allows them the opportunity to rate themselves in a number of specific performance areas. One of the statements for self-rating is: I treat myself like a winner no matter what. 80% of the people who have taken this assessment respond with infrequently like me or not at all like me. They want to feel like winners yet dont treat themselves like winners.
When I ask them why they dont treat themselves like winners they come up with a long list of reasons why. They say things like, because I keep making mistakes, hit poor shots, miss easy putts, dont play as well as I know I can. They also say things like, I dont deserve to treat myself that way, I havent earned it yet and on and on. If you want to look hard enough you can rationalize any number of reasons not to treat yourself like a winner. It is very easy to do. The real and more worthwhile opportunity is to identify reasons why you ARE a winner. Judging and criticizing is easy. We do it as if its second nature sometimes because weve been doing it so long.
How do you react when you read the following statement, You are already a winner Do you resist it? Does your mind say, Yeah, right! or do you react with Thats right, I am!?
Feeling like a winner is a habit that occurs with practice. Here are some insights to get started:
1. Dont let results dictate whether youre a winner or not!
Do you wait for outcomes to determine whether or not you treat yourself like a winner? Do you say, when I do _____ (fill in the blank), Ill feel good about myself? Of course, our positive results will support and strengthen how we feel about ourselves but using them as the measuring stick can sabotage your efforts. Treat yourself like a winner regardless of outcomes.
2. Consciously look for the good
Make a conscious effort to look for reasons to feel good about yourself. On the golf course; did you hit a good drive, make the right decision based on the situation, scramble to make a great par or even bogey? Did you hit a great chip shot (even though you missed the short putt!)? Find something you did that you can feel good about and remember it!
3. Ask yourself: If I wanted to treat myself like a winner; what would I do?
This is a very revealing question. You already know what you could do but sometimes we delay on doing anything about it. What would you do? Would you focus more on your positive qualities/results? Would you say different things to yourself? Would you take different actions (buy that new club, take lessons, find time for yourself, enjoy your golf more, etc.)?
4. Give yourself a break!
Check out your expectations. How realistic are they and how much pressure do you put on yourself because of them? Winners are able to accept whatever the outcome is and then make the necessary adjustments as a result. This doesnt mean you have to like negative outcomes. It means that you are much better off accepting any particular outcome so you can make the changes you need and move on more freely. People who dont treat themselves like winners carry a tremendous amount of self-induce pressure through unrealistic expectations and by carrying poor results forward in their minds. Give yourself a break! Criticizing and judging yourself harshly doesnt usually help you play your best.
Treat yourself like the winner you already are!
NOTE: If youre interested in taking the free mini assessment (includes summary) please email: David@theflowzone.net. If you want to take the full assessment it is only $79 complete with a summary report (no further obligation). Please email us if you are interested. These will be available via the website in the near future.
Copyright 2005 David Breslow. David is the author of Wired To Win and offers the highly acclaimed Wired To Win programs for athletes and business/sales professionals to help them perform at the top of their game!. His unique approach helps people make quantum leap shifts! David has appeared on The Golf Channel, ESPN radio, etc. For more programs/services/products or sign up for a free newsletter (write newsletter in subject box). Contact: David Breslow 847.681.1698 Email: David@theflowzone.net or visit the web: www.theflowzone.net. For book orders call toll free: 1.888.280.7715.