The 112th U.S. Open has come and gone. Time to reflect on the week, because, you know, it is what it is. Or at this point should I say … it was what it was? Fore!
The Olympic Club: Kinda enjoyed it, kinda didn’t. Narrow fairways and hellacious rough make Jack a dull boy. Hold on a sec – I couldn’t get enough of the ‘pull of Lake Merced’ comments made at least 793 times during the week.
Bird Man: Ah yes, a little comic relief after a grueling four days of grinding U.S. Open-style golf. I don’t condone that type of behavior, but I certainly found it funny. Especially the part where Mike Davis goes all Hulk Hogan. Coo coo, coo coo indeed!
Tiger Woods: They talked endlessly about The Olympic Club’s ‘burger dogs’ all week (a hamburger shaped to be used on a hotdog bun), but what I thought came out of the week was a new sandwich – the Eldrick. Toasted bun, a slice of old Tiger and a slice of new Tiger, plenty of cheese, and topped with a creamy helping of ‘traj sauce.’
Casey Martin: Never again will I complain about having to bend over to tie my shoes.
Webb Simpson: Please hire your wife Dowd as your caddie. The more TV face time she gets, the better. And those cheekbones of hers … BAM!
Mr. 1 and 2: Shame on you both, Luke and Rory. Not only did you cost me money, you cost me, well, just money I guess. See you guys at the Open Championship ... I hope.
Brian Rowell: Congrats on finishing DFL! Rounds of 86-82 left you just outside the cut line. Go check out his scorecard on GC.com – it’s sublime.
Merion Golf Club: I can’t wait to get acquainted before next year’s U.S. Open in Ardmore, Pa. The thought of your sexy wicker baskets has me intrigued.
Johnny Miller: And finally, a special thanks to Johnny, who in describing Jim Furyk’s deliberate pre-shot routines, used the word ‘anal.’ Only to follow it up with, “…if you can say the word 'anal' on TV.” Thank you Johnny. You made golf funny.