New Years Resolutions

By Michael CollinsDecember 18, 2007, 5:00 pm
PGA Tour (75x100) Editor's note: Michael Collins has been a stand-up comedian for 15 years and has more than seven years experience as a professional caddie. He currently covers the PGA TOUR as a correspondent with XM Satellite Radio and takes his turn on The Turn Tuesdays on GOLF CHANNEL.
Lets start with the HBIC (Head Brotha In Charge), Tiger Woods. Even if Santa Claus tried to skip his house this Christmas, Tigerd probably knock the fat man out of his moving sleigh with a 1-iron and jack all the presents for himself. And thered be nothing any of us could do about it. Then next year Santad have even more presents for the little boys on tour and the same thing would happen again. Wed still watch in awe, though.
New Years resolutions for Tiger: this year I will win all four majors, and finally shut those knuckleheads up who keep saying I will eventually be the best of all time. I AM THE BEST, so sit back and enjoy it or Ill knock Santa off his sleigh again.
Now Phil, who normally eats all the coal left by Tiger Claus (and still smiles while chewing it)gave everyone an early gift during the Playoffs (that were supposed to suck) by not only going toe-to-toe with him, but beating him! And that beating in Boston AGAIN gave everyone in the press hope for more duels like it in 08.
New Years resolutions for Phil: I will keep Tiger from winning all four majors. I will win the FedExCup. And I will throw Tim Finchem under the bus again on TV if he doesnt help me out when I ask for a little break.
Vijay Singh - 4.7 million, 2 wins, 27 events priceless. Veej battled injuries this year, some of which were never publicized. He made serious swing changes towards the end of the year, including during the Playoffs and it definitely showed with the amount of cuts he missed (11). Weve never seen Vijay like this before and a lot of people will blame his strenuous workouts.
I say bull, but here are my New Years resolutions for Vijay: I will only play 22 events this year. I will take more time off this year than I ever have. I will still work out as hard as ever. But I am going to find out if time off means more wins and a healthier FUTURE. This resolution is only for one year cause if it doesnt work Im playing in at least 30 events in 09 after I beat the hell out of the guy who wrote this.
Ernie Els spent the year being told he came back too early and was playing hurt. Fifteen cuts made out of 16 events and 10 top-10s. Ho, Ho, Ho!! yelled Ernie as Santas sleigh runners ran over the media idiots necks. No one is used to seeing Ernie 20th on the money list and I dont know one person who thinks he wont get a win next year. Even with your own private jet ' and it is a SWEET jet ' all that world travel has got to get a little old. So Ernies resolutions go like this: This year Im going to play 20 events here in the U.S., but Im only going to play six overseas (not including The Open). Im going to contend for the FedExCup and get back in the top 5 on the money list. Then Im going back to my normal schedule in 09 and NO ONE WILL QUESTION ME ABOUT IT!!
John Daly, everything that could go wrong Murphys Law didnt just hit him, it smacked him. Bad bounces, pictures flash causes injury, food poisoning, even a beat down from your spouse! Maybe you should ask Santa for a room with peace in it. Through it all, we the fans, still forgive you, love you and believe in you. Heres my New Years resolutions for you, John Daly: This year I will forgive myself for all of my past. I will love myself for who I am in the morning. And I will keep the people around me who dont tell me what I want to hear or whats best for them, but tell me whats best for me. Oh, and Ill win again because I can.
Rory Sabbatini Santas coming and hes got a new sleigh. When he stops at Rorys house, Rory goes up on the roof and says, The old sleigh was better. All the reindeer gasp in front of Santa. But when they get back to the North Pole they ALL call Rory and say, Man, thats what I wanted to say. Santa still leaves Rory some very nice gifts and even puts some of the old stuff on the new sleigh. Theres no moral to that story; it just seems to fit. Sabo is now the 11th-ranked player in the world and will be in the top 10 next year.
My New Years resolutions for Rory: I will keep on saying how I feel even when the truth hurts. Because if I have spinach in my teeth when Im talking to you, TELL ME. I will respect you and consider you a friend. Turn it around. If I didnt tell you, what would that make me? Some people dont appreciate my attitude HAHAHA! My wife, kids, and friends love me, and some guy named Mike Collins. Do I really need your approval?
My Holiday Wishes for the Fans (of which I am a part, too)! I wish for MORE of what happened in 07. More Cinderella stories: Paul Goydos winning Sony, Fred Funk at 50 winning Mayakoba, Brian Bateman winning the Buick. I want more young bucks coming out with no fear to win for the first time: Charley Hoffman, Boo Weekly, Nick Watney, Hunter Mahan, Joe Oglivie and Brandt Snedeker. I wish for even more comeback stories. Not just like Steve Stricker, who, by the way, won Comeback Player of the Year TWO YEARS IN A ROW! And NO ONE can argue it as wrong. But I wish for more stuff like Rocco finishing second at Bay Hill AFTER deciding to be broadcaster cause his back was so bad.
And my personal favorite, not just because I was there calling it shot-for-shot but ' OK maybe a little bit because of that ' but mostly because of the electricity in the air from the crowd. Jay Williamson didnt win the Travelers Championship but the rollercoaster ride he and Hunter Mahan went on during the back nine on Sunday and then in the playoff was legendary. Jay walked over to me between 15 and 16 and said, Isnt this guy gonna miss ONE shot?! And I said to him, Just keep those little legs kicking! He smiled because earlier in the week he said he felt like a baby duck paddling upstream. And wouldnt you know it, Hunter missed a couple shots coming in and Jay almost won in a playoff. And as the tears came down his wifes face, not from disappointment but from pride for the fight in her husband, I realized that I had just seen Rocky 1 on the golf course. I dont know how many people saw it or heard it, but those who did appreciated it. I wish for more of that for all of us because sometimes its the guys you didnt know who end up showing you something the big names never could ' Getting up after failure.
My New Years resolutions: I will be true to you, the fans. I will not puff my chest out and pretend to know all the answers. I will apologize when I am wrong, and I will not get too high on myself when I am right. I will try my best to bring you a little piece of the TOUR that no one else will, from a perspective that no one else has. I will try to make you laugh and try not to make you cry, even though thats OK sometimes. I will tell you as much as I can without hurting anyone, because youd want me to do the same for you if it was your life I was writing about. And if you have questions, ask and I will tell you what I know. Im new at this writing thing so my resolution is to get better at it every week next year.
Have a wonderful and blessed holiday season.
See ya in Maui. Please keep hands and feet inside at all times ITS GONNA BE A RIDE!
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    The Tiger comeback just got real on Friday

    By Randall MellFebruary 24, 2018, 1:11 am

    PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. – Slow play was a big storyline on the PGA Tour’s West Coast swing, but not so much anymore.

    Not with Tiger Woods speeding things up Friday at the Honda Classic.

    Not with Woods thumping the gas pedal around PGA National’s Champion Course, suddenly looking as if he is racing way ahead of schedule in his return to the game.

    The narrative wondrously started to turn here.

    It turned from wondering at week’s start if Woods could make the cut here, after missing it last week at the Genesis Open. His game was too wild for Riviera, where a second-round 76 left him looking lost with the Masters just six weeks away.

    It turned in head-spinning fashion Friday with Woods climbing the leaderboard in tough conditions to get himself into weekend contention with a 1-over-par 71.

    He is just four shots off the lead.

    “I’d be shocked if he’s not there Sunday with a chance to win,” said Brandt Snedeker, who played alongside Woods in the first two rounds. “He’s close to playing some really, really good golf.”

    Just a few short months ago, so many of us were wondering if Woods was close to washed up.

    “He’s only going to improve,” Snedeker said. “The more time he has, as the weather gets warmer, he’ll feel better and be able to practice more.”

    Snedeker has had a front-row seat for this speedy Tiger turnaround. He played the third round with Woods at the Farmers Insurance Open last month. That was Woods’ first PGA Tour start in a year.

    Full-field scores from the Honda Classic

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    How much improvement did Snedeker see from that Torrey Pines experience?

    “It was kind of what I expected – significantly improved,” Snedeker said. “His iron game is way better. His driver is way better. I don’t’ see it going backward from here.”

    This was the hope packed into Friday’s new narrative.

    “I’m right there in the ballgame,” Woods said. “I really played well today. I played well all day today.”

    Tiger sent a jolt through PGA National when his name hit the top 10 of the leaderboard. He didn’t do it with a charge. He did it battling a brutish course in wintry, blustery winds, on “scratchy” and “dicey” greens that made par a good score.

    When Woods holed a 25-foot putt at the ninth to move into red numbers at 1 under overall and within three shots of the lead, a roar shook across the Champion Course.

    “It got a little loud, which was cool to see,” Snedeker said. “It’s great to have that energy and vibe back.”

    Woods sent fans scampering to get into position, blasting a 361-yard drive at the 10th, cutting the corner. He had them buzzing when he stuck his approach to 9 feet for another birdie chance to get within two of the lead.

    “I thought if he makes it, this place will go nuts, and he could get it going like he used to,” Snedeker said.

    Woods missed, but with the leaders falling back to him on this grueling day, he stuck his approach at the 12th to 10 feet to give himself a chance to move within a shot of the lead.

    It’s another putt that could have turned PGA National upside down, but Woods missed that.

    “It really is hard to make birdies,” he said. “At least I found it hard. It was hard to get the ball close, even if the ball is in the fairway, it's still very difficult to get the ball close, with the wind blowing as hard as it is. It’s hard to make putts out here.”

    Patton Kizzire, a two-time PGA Tour winner who won just last month at the Sony Open, could attest to how tough the test at Honda has become. He played alongside Woods this week for the first time in his career. He shot 78 Friday and missed the cut.

    Kizzire had a close-up look at what suddenly seems possible for Woods again.

    “He’s figuring it out,” Kizzire said. “He hit some nice shots and rolled in some nice putts. It was pretty impressive.”

    Woods could not hide his excitement in getting himself in the weekend hunt, but his expectations remain tempered in this comeback. He knows the daily referendums his game is subject to, how we can all make the highs too high and the lows too low.

    “We’ve got a long way to go,” Woods said.

    Woods lost a tee shot in a bush at the second hole and made bogey. He hit his tee shot in the water at the 15th and made double bogey. He three-putted the 16th to make bogey. He knows this course can derail a player’s plans in a hurry, but he knows his game is quickly coming around.

    “I’m right there where I can win a golf tournament,” Woods said. “Four back on this golf course with 36 holes to go, I mean, anybody can win this golf tournament right now. It’s wide open.’”

    Woods hit his shot of the day at the 17th to right his game after the struggles at the 15th and 16th. He did so in front of the Goslings Bear Trap Party Pavilion, cutting a 5-iron to 12 feet. It was the hardest hole on the course Friday, with nearly one of every three players rinsing a shot in the water there. Woods made birdie there to ignite an explosion of cheers.  He got a standing ovation.

    “I was telling you guys, I love Riviera, I just don't play well there,” Woods said. “So here we are, we're back at a golf course I know and I play well here.”

    So here we are, on the precipice of something special again?

    Woods seems in a hurry to find out.

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    List, Lovemark lead; Tiger four back at Honda

    By Associated PressFebruary 24, 2018, 12:41 am

    PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. – Even with a tee shot into the water for another double bogey, Tiger Woods could see the big picture in the Honda Classic.

    He was four shots out of the lead going into the weekend.

    Luke List delivered a round not many others found possible in such difficult conditions Friday, a 4-under 66 that gave him a share of the lead with Jamie Lovemark (69). They were at 3-under 137, the highest score to lead at the halfway point of the Honda Classic since it moved to PGA National in 2007.

    So bunched were the scores that Woods was four shots out of the lead and four shots from last place among the 76 players who made the cut at 5-over 145. More importantly, he only had 13 players in front of him.

    ''This is a difficult golf course right now,'' Woods said. ''Making pars is a good thing. I've done that, and I'm right there with a chance.''

    And he has plenty of company.

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    Tommy Fleetwood, who won the Race to Dubai on the European Tour last year, scratched out a 68 and was one shot out of the lead along with Webb Simpson (72), Russell Henley (70) and Rory Sabbatini (69).

    Justin Thomas and Daniel Berger each shot 72 and were in a large group at 139. They were among only 10 players remaining under par.

    Fleetwood laughed when asked the last time he was at 2 under after 36 holes and only one shot out of the lead.

    ''Maybe some junior event,'' he said. ''It's good, though. These are the toughest test in golf. Generally, one of the best players prevail at the end of weeks like this. Weeks like this challenge you to the ultimate level. Whether you shoot two 80s or you lead after two rounds, you can see what you need to do and see where your game is. Because this is as hard as it's ever going to get for you.''

    The difficulty was primarily from the wind, which blew just as hard in the morning when List shot his 66 as it did in the afternoon. More aggravating to the players are the greens, which are old and bare, firm and crusty. It's a recipe for not making many putts.

    Defending champion Rickie Fowler had six bogeys on his front nine and shot 77 to miss the cut.

    ''It's unfortunate that the greens have changed this much in a year,'' Fowler said. ''They typically get slick and quick on the weekend because they dry out, but at least there's some sort of surface. But like I said, everyone's playing the same greens.''

    It looked as though List was playing a different course when he went out with a bogey-free 32 on the back nine, added a pair of birdies on the front nine and then dropped his only shot when he caught an awkward lie in the bunker on the par-3 seventh.

    ''It's very relentless,'' List said. ''There's not really too many easy holes, but if you hit fairways and go from there, you can make a few birdies out there.''

    List and Lovemark, both Californians, have never won on the PGA Tour. This is the third time List has had at least a share of the 36-hole lead, most recently in South Korea at the CJ Cup, where he shot 76-72 on the weekend.

    ''It's kind of irrelevant because there's going to be 30 guys within a couple shots of the lead,'' List said. ''It's going to be that type of week.''

    He was exaggerating – there were 11 players within three shots of the lead.

    And there was another guy four shots behind.

    Woods brought big energy to a Friday afternoon that already was hopping before he overcame a sluggish start and holed a 25-foot birdie putt on No. 9 to make the turn at 1 under for his round, and leaving him two shots out of the lead. Everyone knew it just from listening to the roars.

    Woods had his chances, twice missing birdie putts from inside 10 feet at Nos. 10 and 12, sandwiched around a 12-foot par save. His round appeared to come undone when he found the water on the 15th and made double bogey for the second straight day.

    Then, he hit out of a fairway bunker, over the water and onto the green at the dangerous 16th hole and faced a 65-foot putt. He misread the speed and the line, so badly that it was similar to a car driving from Chicago to Denver and winding up in Phoenix. A bogey dropped him to 2 over.

    The big moment was the 17th hole, 184 waters into the wind and over water. That's where Rory McIlroy made triple bogey earlier in the day that ruined his otherwise solid round of 72, leaving him seven behind. Making it even tougher for Woods is the Brandt Snedeker hit 5-iron before him to about 6 feet. Woods got to the tee and the wind died, meaning 5-iron was too much and 6-iron wouldn't clear the water.

    He went with the 5-iron.

    ''I started that thing pretty far left and hit a pretty big cut in there because I had just too much stick,'' Wood said.

    It landed 12 feet below the hole for a birdie putt.

    Thomas made 17 pars and a double bogey when he three-putted from 6 feet on No. 16. He felt the same way as Woods.

    ''I'm in a good spot – really good spot – going into this week,'' Thomas said.

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    Woods to play with Dufner (12:10 p.m.) in third round

    By Golf Channel DigitalFebruary 24, 2018, 12:10 am

    PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. – Tiger Woods will play alongside Jason Dufner in the third round of the Honda Classic.

    Woods and Dufner, both at 1-over 141, four shots back, will tee off at 12:10 p.m. ET Saturday at PGA National. They’re in the 10th-to-last group.

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    Co-leaders Luke List and Jamie Lovemark will go at 1:40 p.m.

    Some of the other late pairings include Justin Thomas and Daniel Berger, who will be playing together for the third consecutive day, at 1 p.m.; Louis Oosthuizen and Thomas Pieters (1:10 p.m.); and Webb Simpson and Russell Henley, in the penultimate group at 1:30 p.m.

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    Woods doesn't mind 'fun' but brutal 17th hole

    By Ryan LavnerFebruary 23, 2018, 11:55 pm

    PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. – Tiger Woods doesn’t mind the boisterous crowd that surrounds the par-3 17th hole at PGA National.

    And why should he?

    When the wind died down Friday afternoon, Woods played a “big ol’ cut” with a 5-iron that dropped 12 feet from the cup. He made the putt – one of just nine birdies on the day – and when he walked off the green, the fans gave him a standing ovation.

    The scene is expected to be even more raucous Saturday at the Honda Classic, especially with Woods in contention.

    There is a Goslings Bear Trap tent just to the right of the tee. The hole has become a hot topic in recent years, after a few players complained that the noise from the nearby crowd was distracting as they tried to play a wind-blown, 190-yard shot over water.

    Full-field scores from the Honda Classic

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    Woods was asked his thoughts on the party setup after finishing his second-round 71.

    “As long as they don’t yell in our golf swings, we’re fine,” he said. “They can be raucous. They are having a great time. It’s fun. They are having a blast, and hopefully we can execute golf shots, but as long as they don’t yell in our golf swings, everything’s cool.”

    After the recent Waste Management Phoenix Open, a few players told Woods that fans were trying to time their screams with the players’ downswings.

    “There’s really no reason to do that,” Woods said. “I think that most of the people there at 17 are golfers, and they understand how hard a golf shot that is. So they are being respectful, but obviously libations are flowing.”

    The 17th played as the most difficult hole on the course Friday, with a 3.74 scoring average and a combined score to par of 104 over. More than a quarter of the tee shots found the water.