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Business Carols

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In case youre wandering the office parks in Carlsbad, Calif. or any other golf industry center this holiday season, Ive provided a few carols your group can sing to charm the local execs. Be sure to wear rain gear; the hot chocolate is sometimes served rapidly, and not always in a cup.
 
(To the tune of Jingle Bells)
 
CHORUS: Pro V1, Pro V1
Flying off the shelves
Folks believe the balls are made
By magic Titleist elves.
 
Dashing to the store
To be there before the dawn
Gotta get a sleeve
Or soon theyll all be gone
Phil says theyre the top
So does USA Today
I cant afford to buy and play
But I must find a way, cause: [take big breath here]
 
CHORUS: Pro V1, Pro V1
Ill take just a few
Probably Ill lose em soon
Just in time for Pro V2.
 
(To the tune of Deck the Halls)
 
Pack the walls with MC Ladies
Fa la la la la, sell sell sell sell
People ask from here to Hades
Fa la la la la, sell sell sell sell
How can I get extra distance?
Fa la la, la la la, well well well
Softer balls have less resistance
Fa la la la la, it all ends well!
 
(To the tune of O Tannenbaum)
 
Oh E-R-C, oh E-R-C
How lovely is thy clubface
The extra yards you promise me
In my mouth leave a sweet taste
 
But in Appendix Two-Five-Ay
Of ye old Rules of Golf, they say
You are not fit for tourney play
So sayeth the U-S-G-A.
 
Oh E-R-C, oh E-R-C
Around the world youre legal
But not in places where youll find
The national birds the eagle
 
So now my choice, a thorny one:
Give up the yardage and the fun
Or move to England, on the run
And ice cubes in my drinks have none.