So without further ado, here are the best of theirs followed by The Comebacker coming back at them:
Emmitt writes: A good imagination is something my wife has! No one but a golf course designer has imagination when referring to a golf course not a golfer. The only thing I imagine when I am playing is that I imagine I may get mad a few times, curse a bit and then when I feel I am getting tired or fried, I can only imagine' having a cold beer at the end. It's the commentators who make the knobby comments about imagination, talking about Tiger and Phil that the rest of us snicker at and as they say in Cape Breton where I'm from: Go chew on yer cud, which is an unflattering reference to a cow's chewing grass and is usually said to someone who is annoying you.
Chew on yer cud? Sounds like something the Golf Guy would udder er utter.
Joe writes: Thanks for venting. Those have been pet peeves of mine, too ' especially the spin issue. I'm going to play professional golf in a couple of years. I know whether it will spin or not when I hit the shot. To say that I'm good enough to control it all the time would be a laugh, but I do know it's possible to manage it. The guys on the PGA Tour are there for a reason. It's because they're good. The commentators do not need to make them look any better. Or, in this case, they do not need to make a poor shot just seem like bad luck. Most of the players have studied the courses, even played them for years. They should know when to turn it down.
May you never be a bit unlucky.
Neil writes: Right after a friend of mine flies the green with an 8-iron, he says I just hit it too well. Hit it too well? Boy, do I hear that one a lot; and from some pretty good players. Nice shot, Jerry, you just hit it too well. That bugs me almost as much as tamping down an imaginary spike mark after shoving a 2-foot putt a ball outside the hole. I feel better now.
There, there now. Much cheaper than paying a shrink $150 for 50 minutes.
Rich writes: Can we please stop seeing the players spitting all over the golf course. More and more of this is shown on television during a tournament. And, the worst offender is Tiger Woods! First of all, I don't really need to see anyone spitting, particularly all over a golf course. Second, in the case of Tiger, everything he does is emulated by most of the golfing world and particularly the younger golfers. Last year I was out on the course. After putting the ball I marked the ball and as I picked it up realized there was a big gob of spit on the ball. Apparently it had rolled through the spot where someone had spit on the green. Maybe it's my imagination, but I don't remember much spitting going on at the golf course over the 35-plus years I've been playing, but lately I see it all the time when I play.
Reminds of that famous Dickens novel ' 'Great Expectorations.'
Scott writes:: You left out courage, as in, Oh, he hit a courageous putt. I can imagine the troops in Afghanistan getting ready for their night patrol watching on TV. Wait a minute, Sergeant, Tim Herron is about to hit a courageous putt for birdie and win $90,000 for 45th place.
$90,000 for 45th place?
Mo writes: Add to the list makeable putt. They all are makeable if there is an open hole. Some chances just are not very good; also, the negative or dire predictions about a shot's success chances. As you stated, the guys work on tough shots all day long. It is us country club guys who never practice side-hill and downhill shots because there is no place to do so. Driving ranges are flat. Practice sand traps don't have high sides and fluffy lies. Give the pros the credit they deserve. Those guys are good or they don't survive.
I could have sworn I saw a couple of putts at Oakland Hills in August at the PGA Championship that were not makeable.
Hugh writes: How about good touch for a big man ' what does a beer gut have to do with a greenside shot? Example: (Craig) Stadler or (Phil) Blackmar ' every time.
Exactly. Ive been telling anybody who would listen, for years, that a beer gut has nothing to do with a greenside shot.
Jim writes: I've been playing golf for over 65 years and have never had anyone line up my putts nor did I switch to a long-shafted putter. This applies to both men and women professionals. They are professionals and should be able to line up their own putts and throw away those long putters.
While were at it, Ive never liked those putters with the suction cups on the butt end for people too lazy to bend over and fish their ball out of the cup.
Fred writes: My pet peeve is calling slow players methodical. Call them what they are: slow players. Lets just start with Ben Crane and work our way down through Padraig Harrington, Stuart Appleby, Michael Letzig, etcAll I can say is thank goodness that the broadcast channels doing the telecast know who the slow golfers are and time it where we are just about to see their shots as opposed to going through their whole pre-shot routine.
Larry writes: I also have a golf telecast pet peeve. It is when a player hits a poor shot and then he or she (or the announcer) terms it a bad break when it ends up in a tough spot. My theory has always been: If you hit a poor shot the only break you can get is a good one.
But but Michael Letzig?
Rachel writes: So, let me share my favorite pet peeve. Professional golfers have putting gurus, swing gurus, exercise gurus, psychology gurus, etc., etc., etc. Also, a majority of the PGA Tour players went to college. However, only about one in 10 can put together a few grammatically correct sentences when interviewed. I guess they were asleep in English class. Obviously they need a communications guru as well. When I was in English class (back in the Stone Age) the first rule they taught you about public speaking was to avoid clichs. Every other word or two from these guys is the worst clich of all, you know. Here's an example: Announcer ' You certainly had a great game today. What's the secret to your success? Joe Blow from Kokomo replies, Well, you know, I just tried to relax, you know, take one step at a time, you know. It sounds kinda easy, you know, but you have to stay in the moment..
As they say in Kokomo: At the end of the day, it is what it is.
Jim writes: I can agree with you on the imagination issue which is a much overused phrase. It is true at all levels of golf, those golfers that have the confidence and talents to perform difficult shots are quite simply better players than those who cannot. Everyone has imagination, but not necessarily the ability to pull off miraculous shots on a regular basis. This is what separates the men from the boys.
Andrew writes: How about an unforced error? For example, the player hits a shot into a bunker from 125 yards or so, and the announcer calls it an unforced error. Please tell me what exactly would constitute a forced error in golf, since there is no opponent acting contradictorily to what a player is attempting on each shot.
Good point, Andrew. You cant play defense in golf. But Rachel might want to bust you on the grammatical usage of the word contradictorily.
Email your thoughts to Brian Hewitt