Research shows that 15 percent of the golfing population play for competitive reasons. When they put me in charge of golf, these are the rules that the other 85 percent of us will play by.
• 18-hole course will be set up at approximately 5,800 yards.
• Hole will be cut at 8 inches. Maximum score on each hole is 5.
• Round must be played in 3 hours - an average of 10 minutes per hole (financial incentive for those who complete the round on time. Players who are behind are asked to skip holes to maintain position or be removed from the course).
• No mulligans, no whining, no white belts.
1. You cannot touch the ball. No relief from any obstruction. A penalty of one stroke will be applied if the ball is picked up and placed within five paces of the original position or within five paces of the nearest maintained spot on the course. The ball cannot be placed in the hole.
2. Place ball within five paces of where it crossed the margin of a hazard, lateral hazard, or out of bounds. Ball can be played as it lies in a hazard but not out of bounds. One-stroke penalty.
3. If a ball is not found within a minute of reaching the area in which it was lost, another ball may be placed within five paces of a spot in the nearest maintained area to which it is estimated the ball was lost. One-stroke penalty.
4. On the putting green, the ball farthest from the hole must be played first.
5. If a ball is moved by another player or his golf ball, the player has the option of replacing the ball in its original position. No penalty.
That's it, five rules. No stipulations on clubs or balls. Play fast. Have fun.
If you don't like it play somewhere else.