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And now todays article
Do you treat yourself like a winner? Clients answer this question 85% of the time with a Sometimes or Not often. Society offers various suggestions and attributes for what a winner is and is not. For many, winning the top prize is the ultimate indicator of a winner. The prize in golf might be winning a major, winning several majors, leading the money list and for some, its simply having the opportunity to play on the PGA Tour. These are just a few ways to label a winner but what about all the other possibilities? Does the fact that someone doesnt win the big prize mean they are not winners? It is my opinion that society places far too much emphasis on the numbers of sport and on winning championships as THE indicator of whether a person is a winner or not. This mindset trickles down to us through the media and other avenues and it can negatively affect many amateur and pro wannabee golfers by adding pressure and stress.
The truth is, there are many great athletes who have excelled in their sport for years and yet have not won a championship. The NHLs Marcel Dionne and the NFLs Dick Butkus, Jim Kelly and Dan Marino are just a few examples. Winning championships is not the sole determiner of whether someone is a winner or not.
Many of my clients dont feel like winners because they set their expectations at such a high and inappropriate level that feeling like a winner is difficult. As a result of these high and often unrealistic expectations they feel disappointed and frustrated more than anything else. Winning championships and tournaments look good to the public and the media who love to anoint those who do so. Playing well and winning also feels good however, we all know there are countless stories of people who have won yet who never really feel like a winner inside. For them life away from the game can be filled with drama. Winning is an inside job and it always has been because how you feel about yourself can be enhanced but never replaced by a great shot, great round or great money.
Here are 4 things winners do to think, feel and play their best - - and so can you.
1. Winners feel good about themselves first
People who feel like winners know how to feel like winners before they play a round of golf or ever win anything. They feel good about themselves as individuals and take this feeling into whatever they do. They are able to separate performance confidence from personal confidence. Feeling good is a choice and is not predicated on anything else.
2. Winners dont let outcomes dictate their self worth
Winners realize they are not their outcomes. Many of my clients feel frustrated because they actually think they are their outcomes. If the outcomes are good; they feel good. If the outcomes are bad they feel bad. This makes playing a round of golf (or anything else) very difficult and certainly not much fun. Winners can play a terrible golf shot but they dont think they are terrible golfers. There are times when Tiger and everyone else on the tour hits poor golf shots. For some, a bad shot is immediately turned into Im a bad golfer which then turns into Im bad. When it gets personal it is more difficult to change. You are not your golf shots.
3. Winners recover quickly
Winners know how to recover quickly when things arent going their way. Rather than find reasons to make excuses and blame others, they know they are responsible for what they think, feel and do on the golf course. A non-winner makes excuses, points the finger at others and the conditions and so on. It is very difficult to recover quickly when we blame others for our circumstances. You are the resource for your solutions.
4. Winners appreciate the big picture
Winners dont get stuck on one shot, hole or round because they appreciate the journey they are part of. They understand that the journey will bring ups, downs, waves and obstacles as a natural part of the process. This appreciation creates an inner sense of well-being because they know that situations will come and go and therefore they dont have to be stuck on any of them. Chip Beck, who endured several years of frustration and disappointment never took his eyes off the big picture. Through all the ups and downs of his journey, the struggle and the sacrifice, the big picture was never far away. Now, Chip is enjoying the fruits of his labor on the Champions Tour! Yogi Berra, legendary New York Yankee said, It aint over till its over and Jimmy Valvano, North Carolina State basketball coach stricken with cancer pleaded, Dont give up. Dont ever give up. These statements reflect an awareness of the broader journey.
Do you feel like a winner today?