All that Taz

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ORLANDO, FL ' Taz Woods has an unlimited supply of Milkbones made with milk from the finest bovines. He has a swanky dog bed made of the most exquisite Egyptian cotton. And he gets to be in the spotlight more than the White House dog. You'd think he'd be satisfied.Yet, he keeps yapping in his dad's ear.
 
Wait. The baby poops in the house, everyone cheers. I poop in the house, I get locked in the laundry room. Whats wrong with this picture?
 
The WGC Match Play, eh? You know, if I went head to head with that silly-looking 'Tiger Woods' mutt from the Westminster Show, I'd totally smoke him.
Tiger Woods Taz the Dog
Tiger's chatty border collie: Taz Woods

Seriously, though. Could you not use the phrase, 'cutting off the dogleg' again? Makes me nervous as hell.
 
What did they mean by 'Stevie's in the doghouse?' He's sooo not taking my crib.
 
You know what's been gnawing at me? This 'Bones' dude you keep talking about. Tell me more.
 
ZOMG! You put bacon on your neck! BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON!...
 
Dude. That was hilarious how Stevie threw the reporters off your scent, so to speak. 'He'll be back in a FEW weeks, MY TAIL!!!'
 
Soooo, I hear they have a fancy five-star dog park at Doral according to my Dogats guide.
 
Dad, not to put too fine a point on it: But I can still out-sprint you.
 
No, I will NOT shag balls for you again.
 
You get your stinkin' knee operated on and the collective world holds their breathe. I get friggin' FIXED and nobody bats an eyelash. Sheesh.