Christina Kim, one of the most gregarious personalities on the LPGA, revealed in a courageous blog post Wednesday that she’s been battling depression for the past two years.
In a 3,242-word post entitled “I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room,” the two-time LPGA winner said that she began experiencing symptoms of depression after a fluke back injury in 2010 – and eventually led to thoughts of suicide. You can read the entire blog post here.
Kim went public with the news now because depression “should not be looked upon as a taboo subject,” she wrote, while citing the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, which last year estimated that 1-in-10 adults report symptoms of depression.
“If by writing this, I am able to help even one soul seek help for what too many of us keep hidden in shame, my life’s work would be fulfilled,” Kim wrote. “Because to live a life where one does not attempt to help others … What kind of life is that?”
The 28-year-old, who has amassed more than $4 million in career earnings, added that “one of the main catalysts to my feelings of worthlessness would be the decline of my golf game.” In 2010, before the start of the Sime Darby LPGA Malaysia event, she went to the spa for a massage and “felt my spine give a yelp.” The fluke injury caused a severe drop in distance with her shots, and, she wrote, “even though I ended up limping into a top-10 in Malaysia, the seed of doubt had been laid in my brain (that her skills were diminished).”
In 2011, “I would be driving down a winding road, and suddenly feel the desire to wrench the steering wheel into an oncoming car, or over the railing, bracing myself against the free fall drop before the hunk of metal I’m driving (most likely a rental car) hits the ground, rolling over and over, until the car and I are a crumpled mess on the floor,” she wrote. “The pain will be gone, the need to be ‘perfect’ or ‘happy’ will be no longer necessary. But something always kept me from doing it.”
A couple of months later, she said, Kim was prescribed an anti-depressant. She describes herself now as “cautiously optimistic.”
“Harrowing as it has been to relive the last year and a half of my life, in doing so, I also feel more cleansed than I have in a very long time,” Kim wrote. “Life is not so bad. In fact, it is grand. It’s the one thing we are sure of ever having. I know that I have a wonderful support system, with more people that care about me than I can think of.”