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A round of golf with the Golf Guy

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BY: THE INTERNS

We gave the interns a half-day to play a round with the Golf Guy, just to see what would happen. This is their story.

Mike:

When I accepted the opportunity to intern at the Golf Channel this summer, never in my wildest dreams did I expect to experience what I did on Thursday, July 12. No, I didn’t meet Jack Nicklaus, take Win McMurray to Disney World, or go to Golden Corral with Charlie Rymer. I went golfing with the Golf Guy. (I think he’s going to edit this, so the description of particular events may not be in original form.)

I had no idea what to expect. How do you prepare for a golf outing with a [Editor’s note: legend]? What I discovered was that the Golf Guy is just like anybody else. If anybody else brought an oversized flask of Admiral Nelson (Captain Morgan’s loser cousin) to a 2:30 tee time. I thought he said he would wait until tee 15 and only take a drink for every birdie on the course, but what he actually said was he would wait until 3:15 and he would take a drink for every bird on the course. Needless to say, with every hole came an increased [as well as welcome and refreshing] level of entertainment

Here is a list of facts that I now know to be true, thanks to the Golf Guy:

  • You can consider yourself to be in the top one percent of putters in the world, even if no one else thinks so.
  • Every young adult out of college should spend a few years bumming around Hawaii.
  • Pebble Beach is overrated.
  • The Beatles are overrated.
  • Sobriety is overrated.

One last thought on the Golf Guy - he is an enigma. It was a sweltering day, as mid-July afternoons are wont to be, but he did his best to cool off. Whether it was taking swigs out of his sweating Styrofoam cup concoction or parking his cart behind mine when the rain came sideways, he beat the heat. Yet the warmth of the Florida sun pales in comparison to the warmth of the Golf Guy's heart, he concluding the round by giving us each a bag of homemade fudge, which was delicious. Thanks Golf Guy.

But now that I think about it, that fudge had nuts. I hate nuts.

Sean:

The Golf Guy has always been a hero of mine since before I can remember. When I arrived at the golf course, I really didn’t know what to expect, a man dressed in a gorilla costume, or maybe even a woman that simply wished she was a man. However, when the Golf Guy arrived at the course, he seemed like just your average guy, or so we thought.

He lived up to every expectation I had. It was like I was a little kid again in the presence of their idol. I believed everything he said, even the part about him owning the “unofficial” record for most time spent on a putting green at one time. I was in complete disbelief that one man could accomplish so much in life. The man seriously never stopped talking, during our shots and even his own, which I found impressive despite the occasional shank 50 yards straight right.

During my time with him, I discovered some pretty interesting facts about the beloved Golf Guy:

  • It is possible to attend a Golf Academy and actually become worse at golf.
  • He thoroughly enjoys talking to squirrels, even if it does hold up the round by 15 minutes.
  • The only way to prove you rank in the top one-percent of putters in the world is to lose in a putting contest to an intern.
  • The Guinness Book of World Records doesn’t care about the amount of time you spend on a putting green.
  • And finally, the Golf Guy possesses a hidden talent as a world-class meteorologist.

It had been a long round that was full of 20 minute conversations where none of us even thought about hitting a golf shot – multiple groups played through. After a 30 minute rain delay, which the Golf Guy predicted, we approached the 18th hole. We had no idea that it would be a hole that we would never forget. We were atop the leader board at two under par – we were playing a scramble against ourselves and our own pride. As a team, we had set a hefty goal of three under at the start of the round, which meant we would need a key birdie on 18, so we wouldn’t look like a group of losers competing against themselves.

Out of our three approach shots from the middle of the fairway, none of us were able to come close to hitting the green on the lengthy par four. However, the Golf Guy had come through with an approach just short of the green. When it came time for my chip, I said to myself, “If I had one chance to do something special for the Golf Guy, now was the time.” So as I stepped up to the ball, I just hit the chip just like any other shot.

From the beginning, we could all tell it had a chance to go in and to our luck, it did. We embraced each other as if we were The Three Amigos. It was a great feeling and you may even say the Golf Guy took the celebration a little too far – he ran around the golf course giving everyone, golfers and employees, high fives. The guy even brought his own green jacket to the course, so we could hold a ceremony for him and present him with a trophy. It was definitely an interesting and memorable experience.

When all was said and done, our day off with The Golf Guy was quite the memorable experience. It was a perfect blend of education, fellowship and rum. When looking back on our time, we both agreed that it was an experience like no other, truly a day neither one of us will ever forget.

But please, don’t make us do it again.


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