Here’s a sneak peek of who’s getting what…
Tiger Woods: A box of red shirts that work.
Elin Nordegren: A lie detector.
Phil Mickelson: A bigger mantle.
Ernie Els: An emerald blazer.
Graeme McDowell: A scrapbook.
Lee Westwood: A rear-view mirror. He’s clearly the game’s most consistent top-tier player, but philosophically, I don’t think anyone should reach No. 1 in the Official World Ranking without a major title in his pocket.
Sergio Garcia: A mirror. The guy needs to take a good look at himself.
Dustin Johnson: A garden hose. The better to rinse away any lingering effects of those hassles in the sand.
LPGA commissioner Michael Whan: A Richter scale. Now if he could just find somebody to make it register.
U.S. Open setup man Mike Davis: Earplugs.
PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem: A giant pickle. If he hopes to preserve the Tour's purse structure while negotiating the next TV contract, he may find himself in one.
Steve Stricker: A pair of fangs.
Jeff Overton: Are you kidding? A boombox.
Jim Furyk: He’ll pass on Christmas if it gets him a more meaningful gift next Father’s Day, which is when they play the final round of the U.S. Open.
Rory McIlroy: An entire morning with Vidal Sassoon.
Luke Donald: A trophy. Doesn’t matter what size.
Hunter Mahan: Seeing how he gets himself into the hunt on a regular basis nowadays, a bulletproof vest.
Boo Weekley: A pair of binoculars. An avid outdoorsman who has fallen to 240th in the world ranking, Boo needs something to shrink the distance between where he is now and where he was two years ago.
Matt Kuchar: A mountain bike. If he’s gonna keep climbing, there are better ways to do it than by foot.
Anthony Kim: A parachute.
Paul Casey and Ian Poulter: For a couple of well-mannered Brits who keep knocking on the door, how about a sledgehammer?
Bubba Watson: A treadmill. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if it looks like you’re not getting anywhere.
Fred Couples: A lifetime supply of free massages, courtesy the Champions Tour.
Jack Nicklaus: A vault. The perfect place to store the game’s most valuable record, although it may turn out to be safe, after all.