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Journeyman quote machine

Golf Talk Central
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JOHNS CREEK, Ga. – In “farm team” parlance, Dan Olsen came up to the Big Leagues just long enough for a cup of coffee. He played 31 PGA Tour events in 2004, posted a single top-10 finish and missed more weekends (19) than not. Still, he was a welcome sight on the Atlanta Athletic Club practice tee late Tuesday.

Olsen doesn’t play much competitive golf any more. “Technically, I’m an assistant pro at a club in East Lansing, Mich.,” said Olsen, who is in the PGA Championship via his 16th-place finish at the PGA Professional National Championship.

Although most fans won’t recognize Olsen this week, for 30 minutes on Tuesday he proved why he was one of the game’s best interviews during his far-to-short time on Tour. Among the highlights:

“The last time I signed my name was on a speeding ticket, and my divorce papers. Now I’m signing 200 (autographs) a day. I’m starting to have flashbacks.”

On how many times he was fined by Tour commissioner Tim Finchem: “Tim never actually fined me, although I was in his office once.”

“I didn’t have to buy a ticket or streak the place to get in (the PGA Championship).”

On the international flavor of this year’s PGA: “I don’t speak the right language.”

Asked what would happen if he somehow won the PGA? “I’d sober up just in time to enter the Masters.”

On Atlanta Athletic Club: “This place is crazy, even Tiger (Woods) could win here.”