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Airline observations: Abominable snowman and D.B. Cooper

Abominable Snowman
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KIAWAH ISLAND, SC - AUGUST 06: Rory McIlroy of Northern Ireland walks along the seventh hole during a practice round of the 2012 PGA Championship at the Ocean Course on August 6, 2012 in Kiawah Island, South Carolina. (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)  - 

SAN MARTIN, Calif. – Nothing brings out crustiness like airline travel, something I did Wednesday – Orlando to Phoenix to San Jose. Some thoughts from a person who hasn’t flown in a while:

Abominable Snowman• In the Sky Mall, you can buy a “life-sized” Abominable Snowman Yeti statue for $2,350 – 72” H x 45” W x 38” D. I always pictured him much larger than Steve Sands.

• Kids talk like they tweet. It’s mostly inane and rarely a completed sentence. My favorite overheard comment: “This is my only pair of shoes. My sandals got lost in the river.” Not sure if this is the Millennial generation or the Y generation, but could just call them Twits. Short for Twitter, of course.

• The lady next to me, from Orlando to Phoenix, sat down with a blanket, pillow, bag of food, water, headphones, iPhone, purse and a book. When the plane took off, she started her chronograph. Wasn’t sure if I was flying with a very detailed-oriented person or the female D.B. Cooper.

• A Russian lady on the same flight, two rows up, ordered one water, one orange juice, one cup of ice and two mini-bottles of vodka. At 8:05 a.m. Good to know stereotypes still live.

• People smoke electronic cigarettes in the terminal. It’s water vapor and doesn’t smell. Still looks nasty.

• U.S. Airways charges $6 for one hour of in-flight Wifi service for your computer. They don’t even give you a bag of nuts for free. Bush league.