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Hacking Away

Meanderings from the Byron Nelson Classic:
- Not that I was gawking or anything, but the plastic surgery business is a healthy one in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
- Shigeki smiles and people seem astonished. I mean imagine that, a golfer actually laughing and enjoying himself. Whats wrong with him?
- Too bad well never see the Raymond Floyd glare against the Shigeki smile in a Presidents Cup match.
- The Salesmanship Club, those folks in the red pants behind the Verizon Byron Nelson, raises more money for charity than any other tournament on the PGA Tour and enjoys an impeccable rep with the players, wholl tell you that if you need anything, just look for the red pants.
- Speaking of said slacks, good guy Carl Paulson, as a way of saying thanks for the efforts, wore a pair for his final round and then to the volunteer party, where he received a standing ovation.
- Several players told me that Phil Mickelson is alienating the rank and file because hes been vocal about losing events like Tucson opposite a WGC big-money affair, preferring that all the available dough be put into the higher-profile event.
- The lefty appeared a tad burned out following Sundays finale and would do well to say 'no' on occasion to a few of the hundreds of autograph hounds he routinely accommodates.
- Is there a ban on brunettes in Dallas?
- Chris DiMarco played with Shigeki the first two rounds and told me that hes the real deal, as a player and a funnyman, emphasizing that Marus short games really special.
- DiMarco cracked that Maru tried to teach him a few curse words in Japanese, because, you know, the tours coming down harder on profanity these days but this way the officials will never know.
- One player told me that the tours a rather dull place these days, harder than ever to find a guy wholl go have a beer after a round.
- On that subject, I once asked, Wheres Walter Hagen when you need him? Colleague Jeff Rude, who hits one-liners like Tiger hits four-footers, retorted, In his room with a glass of milk watching ESPN.
- Tommy Armour III, whose Monday party at his home off the TPC Las Colinas golf course was reportedly five-star in every way, mightve given Hagen a run for his money off the course.
- Are there any fat guys left on Tour?
- Of course, I did bump into fun-loving Tim Herron, aka Lumpy, at Wiener Circle, the legendary hot dog joint in Chicago, at 3 a.m. several years back as I was getting up for an early breakfast meeting.
- In the fabulous gym at The Four Seasons, Vijay looked around and noticed that there are more trainers on Tour these days than players.
- John Cook, intelligent and in touch with the tour scene, will be in a major network analysts chair within four years.
- Imagine what Byron Nelsons seen in his lifetime? In 1945, when he won 11 straight, we were enemies with Japan. Now 57 years later, he hands a trophy bearing his name to the best golfer from the land of the rising sun.
- Ben Crane flew to Oregon to prepare for his wedding without ever setting foot on an airplane.
- Suddenly the most important job in golf is interpreter.
- Anybody seen Davis or Hal lately?
- If Deutsche Bank does conflict with the Byron next year, Tiger has to know hell never win the PR battle by taking the two mil while saying no to a legend, dont you think?
- Did I mention that as Im writing this, its just after six a.m. in Dallas? Or is it Cincinnati? Maybe Atlanta?
- By the way, I kept my streak alive. Its now 89 consecutive trips without ever having had to actually purchase a USA Today.