Just in time for the 2000 season of giving, some suggestions for the Democratic grandmother and the Republican grandson who both enjoy rolling home six-footers for net pars. 'Let me tap that in Ethel, that's an 8 for a 4.'
The Tiger Woods Finger Pointer Putter
Hot new stick comes with pop up finger which springs forth from the butt of the putter just when your ball is eight feet from the hole. The Tiger Finger Pointer emits energy waves to the golf ball, directing it to the bottom of cup for another clutch 15-foot putt.
The Phil Mickelson Mask
Try on this handsome face with the trademark pursed lipped, half-smile and watch good things happen. Mask is great for covering up the fact that inside you want to rip your opponent's head off. Excellent for promoting boy-next-door image, even if you're a ferocious competitor with four wins in 2000. Mask should increase in value as soon as next year, when the 30-year-old mega millionaire figures to win his first major.
The Boss of the Moss Hypnotizer
3x5 metal replica of game's best putter features the soothing, repetitive putting stroke in real time. Hang it from your rearview mirror on your way to that Saturday morning match and then watch the putts drop. Batteries not included.
Simple in its design, sturdy in its function. The Triplett is the old standby in headwear, the bucket hat, but special because it comes from the man who epitomizes the legendary lid. A must for any guy who's dependable, likeable, hardworking, humble, regular and capable of making a meaningful downhill, five-footer at Riviera. Good for fishermen and yardworkers, too.
Billy Andrade's ESPN microphone
Now a collector's item! From the loveable New Englander who almost joined the ranks of us truly untalented TV yackers; instead engineered thrilling, career saving win in Vegas. Not just another golf photograph to hang in your home office.
Paul Azinger Badge of Courage
Handcrafted and tastefully designed. This offering is perfect for a company awards night or just to recognize someone of exceptionally strong character and high moral fiber.
Hal Sutton Motivational Audiocassette
Self-help tape can be used when trying to overcome a difficult obstacle, even the No.1 player in golf. Just insert tape and listen to Sutton, whose cadence and delivery lift and inspire like an old Southern football coach. Repeat the following: 'He puts his pants on the same way I do.' Perfectly mixed with NFL Films music underneath, The Hal Sutton Motivational Audiocassette will have you ready to take on the world.
The Tim Finchem Mask
Excellent for those in power who need to be even-keeled and unemotional. Think of the fun you'll have as friends try to guess exactly what you're thinking. Also good for poker games.
Stuart Appleby's Saucy Aussie Hot Sauce
Your mouth will be so alive with flavor that you'll become a quote machine, amazing your friends at the barbie with witty tomes like the one Appleby uttered at the light-on-Americans World Golf Championship at Valderrama. 'Americans are a bit like prawns on a hot Sunday. They don't travel well.' Refrigeration not necessary after opening.
Anyway, those are just a few possibilities. Perhaps you have some gift ideas of your own. E-mail them to me right here at our website. For now, I'm off to buy more action figures for my two boys. They're a great value. Kids like to use them for their world of pretend. Dads like them because they carry a sports message. My 8-year-old has a Greg Maddux action figure and I told him that what makes Maddux so good is not speed but control. So now in Little League when he uncorks a wild one I'll remind him of his favorite action figure, Greg Maddux.
Remember, it's not how much you spend. It's how much you give. We at The Golf Channel are certainly appreciative that you've given us a look, given us your ear, given us your support over this last year. Wishing you and your family good health and happiness in the New Year ahead.