New Years resolutions for players


Six days ago clocks across the globe struck midnight and as quick as a New Year’s kiss it was out with the old and in with the new! Just like that the PGA Tour wasted no time kicking off 2011. At 10:20 a.m. local time Thursday in Maui first-time winner Arjun Atwal struck the first tee shot of the new season.

Certain players like Graeme McDowell  may not be ready to ring in the New Year. Others like Tiger Woods may have begun humming the chorus to 'Auld Lang Syne' more than a month ago.

No doubt 2010 was a strange year on Tour. We saw three new major champions crowned, Tiger return to competition without taking home any hardware and the Americans hand back one of the most prized possessions in golf to a surging European contingent of players.

So what’s on tap for 2011? Hmmm…well I think it’s perfect timing for the men of the PGA Tour to start scratching out their new goals for the New Year and taping them to their bathroom mirrors. To help them get started, here are some New Year’s resolution suggestions.

-Rickie Fowler: Resolve to invent a new color (orange is becoming too mainstream).

-Jonathan Byrd: Resolve to make a hole-in-one on a hole where you can win a car (really you dummy!).

-Rory McIlroy: Resolve to swap the lemon juice highlights for a mullet (most great American golfers had a mullet at some point in their career).

-Jim Furyk: Resolve to ignore the alarm clock jokes (and remind people you’re focusing on ways to spend $10 million).

-Camilo Villegas: Resolve to star in Spiderman: The Musical on Broadway (the real Spiderman doesn’t need harnesses..he doesn’t even need clothes…haven’t you seen the ESPN Body Issue?).

-Ben Crane: Resolve to actually build muscles instead of laughs from YouTube workout video (should increase pace of play).

-Rocco Mediate: Resolve to hole out five times in a tournament (because four times is for amateurs).

-Tiger Woods: Resolve to hmmm… win? (and why settle for one, when you can have many?).

-Phil Mickelson: Resolve to become the first vegetarian world No. 1 (because it’s never happened…and most likely won’t).

-Lee Westwood: Resolve to become the No. 1 tweeter in the golf world (it’s a much harder feat with much fiercer competition than becoming No. 1 in the world).

-Ian Poulter: Resolve to mark balls with iPhone (since it’s something that is always firmly in grasp when a tweet needs to be tweeted).

-Graeme McDowell: Resolve to pick an accent (because when having tea and crumpets with the Queen she may not understand a Northern Irish Alabaman twang).

-Paul Casey: Resolve to begin two-year campaign again for Ryder Cup bid (because as we all know being No. 9 in the world doesn’t cut it when you need a wild card pick).