Green jacket to Chevron bathrobe: Ranking the practicality of golf’s clothing prizes

Boots might be made for walking but how much use will the Valero Texas Open champ really get out of the pair he wins?

Augusta National’s green jacket might be the most illustrious individual item in the sports world. Would you wear it out to dinner?

It’s not totally fair to pit a bunch of inanimate objects against one another but with the LPGA’s first major of the season set to tee off this week in Houston, now’s the best time to figure out golf’s most pressing question: Is the Chevron Championship bathrobe the most practical gift given to winners on either tour?

Here’s how we rank some of the more notable ones:

1. Chevron Championship bathrobe

There’s legitimately nothing more practical than drying oneself off to stay warm. When wet, there are only so many items that’ll do the trick — and a bathrobe is one of them. And by far the most comfortable.

Granted, Chevron winners usually use their prize right after receiving it. Does that mean it should be docked for practicality? Not at all! It’s a perfect demonstration of why the gift ranks above the rest.

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2. Valero Texas Open boots

As far as we can tell, the boots gifted at TPC San Antonio are plenty usable — a very practical and fashionable gift. Off the course, of course.

Almost no notes (see: complaints) for this as a prize: It’s regionally appropriate and requires the winner to take a seat after walking 18 holes. However, once done sitting and trying on, does a champion want that feeling of leather on his feet for the rest of that afternoon? Probably can count the number of winners who walked off the green at No. 18 actually wearing the boots. Consider it docked: Practical in the long term, not in the immediate.

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3. Masters green jacket

Probably a hair too high if we’re being honest but how long could we hold off on the green jacket? Sure, it’s not coming with you to the beach or to your kid’s birthday party, limiting its practical use, but is there a better piece of sports memorabilia to possess and pull out to show off? That would be a big giant NOPE.

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4. RBC Heritage tartan plaid jacket

Pants aren’t gifted enough on either tour. Fine, they’re not gifted at all. Wouldn’t the tartan jacket given out to the RBC Heritage winner work just as well as a pair of plaid pants? That way the prize isn’t so much on the Masters corner. It’s hard to see the Harbour Town champ wearing this jacket and not think of the green one before it — at least while the two events are interconnected on the PGA Tour’s schedule.

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5. Arnold Palmer Invitational red cardigan

Pants, shirts, jackets — you name it, Arnold Palmer put his personal touch on golf clothing and left an indelible impact on the sports fashion.

Ironic that the most lasting of all his choices was a sweater. He wore other colors than red — yellow, navy blue, green. However, when Palmer sat for a famous painting with Norman Rockwell, he wore red. And that decision, plus a handful of trips around Augusta National wearing it, made the cardigan more than just a staple of the Palmer closet: It endured the test of time.

So much so that winners get to don one after winning the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill.

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While it’s an incredibly nice story and we all love Arnold Palmer, this is just not a practical item to own.

For starters, the red makes you stand out like a sore thumb. It also doesn’t look like it handles the elements well whatsoever.